Remember the Good, the Bad, and the inaccurate

This Sunday has ranked alright as far as Sundays go. After sleeping in a bit (too long), I turn to AMC and find that 2004's The Alamo is on.

What a piece of work. Sure, there is the usual Hollywood dramatizing that plagues all historical films (while poignantly beautiful, I'm disinclined to believe that Crockett's fiddle harmonized so well with Santa Anna's army band), but nevertheless the controllable minutiae of 1836 soldiering seems to have been captured quite well. The weapons and clothing is authentic (a bare minimum), and the characters not only speak the vernacular (a definite plus), but also go so far as to appear to have even forgone showering to further portray accurate, day-to-day life in the era (a five-star commitment to authenticity). This film is a thoroughly enjoyable romp through the Texan War of Independence, and for those who prefer not to scrimp on the details, it's sure to please as well. Pay extra attention to Dennis Quaid's role as Sam Houston: if that's not Houston, I don't know what is.

After The Alamo came Sergio Leone's classic The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Having never seen this, I decided to leave the classic western on. It's still on, actually (Eastwood is in a whole mess of trouble in the New Mexico desert). But that's not the point. A short while ago there was a good bit of talk and show regarding Sibley's New Mexico campaign of 1862. Canby is also referenced frequently.

I have never seen such a poor showing of reenactor quality as was just displayed in this film. Granted, reenacting was just blossoming into a hobby when this film was made (1966), but still, I can almost see the zippers on the Confederate sergeant's trousers. The dialogue is nearly as atrocious ("Carson? He's with the 3rd." The 3rd? the 3rd what?), and the props are the very definition of farby (If there wasn't a Reb private with a tin, flask-shaped canteen over his soldier, I'm goin' to hell).

Sure, Leone touches on the harsh New Mexico climate that characterized the Confederate retreat, "Sibley's retreating this way...and Canby's line is moving this way...but neither side will go in here [indicating the desert]". But that's pretty much where this historical accuracy ends.

Like I said, the film's still playing, so perhaps things will improve. If I happen to notice, I'll let you know.

(EDIT: "Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General Lee!"...in early 1862 Grant was securing the Tennessee and Cumberland Rivers, and Lee was advising Jeff Davis prior to taking command of the Army of Northern Virginia. OK, that's awful.)

Next up, a discussion on why Tom Cruise's character in The Last Samurai is introduced as "the hero of Gettysburg" while "The Bonnie Blue Flag" plays...ugh.